Change on the eve of International Women's Day?

Today is International Women's Day, and like on most days of the year, I am still confused about what it means to be a young woman in the 21st century.

Reading through some of the editorials in Canadian newspapers and blogs today, there are definitely mixed reviews of "how far we have come" since the second-wave feminists first took stage demanding equal pay, equal access to education, universal healthcare and more generally - demand for full recognition of their humanity that simply transcended a "definition" of what it means to be a person.

As a young female, I hardly have a long enough measuring stick to understand true notions of feminist progress, however, as someone who considers herself well engaged with the current popular literature of the day, I don't think I have to look far to realize that this notion of progress can be interpreted on many different levels.

On the one hand, I concede to the positive developments - many that were highlighted by optimistic and well-education women today - and am grateful to those women who made sacrifices so that I might attend university without another thought, and have the opportunity to think seriously about applying to law school. I also applaud the efforts of those women who have fought for increasing maternity leaves, the importance of child care and for their general dignity amongst the ever-degrading advertisements aimed at women who are taught to feel ashamed of their bodies.

However, at the same time, I must reserve all positive thought and side with the importance of continuing the critical discourse that got us where we are today. In the most enlightening article I came across today, Judy Rebick blogs about the ugly truth that persists today, and one that I can no longer hide from. While the feminists of the 20th century have undeniably opened a myriad of doors that my generation seems to take for granted, the system(s) that perpetuated the oppression of women in the first place persist and through that persistence remains the perpetual threat of continued oppression. As Rebick states, "In the end, my conclusion is that the inter-locking systems of patriarchy, colonialism and capitalism will maintain the oppression of women." (http://www.rabble.ca/blogs/bloggers/judes/2010/03/happy-iwd-assessment-womens-movement-40-years-after-royal-commission-st)

In light of Rebick's statement, I am beginning to understand more about why, despite the feminist success stories of the 20th century, I perpetually feel trapped by some force that I am unable to define - and without a definition, there seems to be no hope of prescribing a remedy. The reason for my uneasiness seems to be that female oppression, as I know it personally, has been packaged in a new form - wrapped in a blanket of 21st century colonialism that disguises itself as progress and equality for all women. Yes, especially here in Canada I am theoretically offered the same opportunities as my male counterparts, yet why do I continue to feel suffocated by the expectations of society? Why do I continue to feel as though I have been given a role to play - the timid girlfriend, the timid student, the sex object with a tight ass, the stay at home mother. While I have done my best to avoid stepping into any of these proscribed roles, I continue to harbour a secret fear that one day, someone is going to step forward, pull back the curtain and tell me that I failed to audition for the part. My fate has been sealed and I will be forced backwards in time, into a life I never saw for myself.

The dramatism of my fears highlights the slight irrationalism of them, however at the same time I think it also points to a deep seated fear that many women, many of my younger peers encounter on a daily basis. No matter how hard we try to define success for ourselves, the truth of the matter is that society continues to strangle that definition before our very eyes and wring out the true definition. We are not in control of our futures - not in the way we want to be - so long as the oppressive systems that Rebick identifies continue to dominate our lives.

So, as the last minutes of International Women's Day ticks bye rapidly, I sit hear as confused as ever, but also with a new sense of lightness, a new sense of hope.

I can be the creator of my own destiny. I can be the creator of my own definition of a truly successful female. However, first I need to unlearn what the system(s) tell me about my gender identity and then begin auditioning for a new role - one that truly allows me to be me.